‘Being Single Is Awesome’ Lies Britney Spears
February 6, 2007
aerybritney
Since clawing out of her marriage to Kevin Federline, Britney Spears has been doing a pretty good impression of a boozed-up seasick stripper on a ferry in a hurricane on a hen night, but it’s all good because Britney Spears just loves being single.
Splitting up with Kevin Federline was the best thing that Britney Spears could ever have done - now the world can really see just how sexy a washed-up booze-flabbed 25-year-old single mother-of-two with a compulsion to flash her genitals at any opportunity can be. More than that, though, Britney Spears has described being single as "awesome" which would be nice, if only she hadn’t used the exact same word to describe Kevin Federline six months before dumping him. Perhaps Britney is confusing the word "awesome" with the phase "So utterly depressing that sometimes I get a bottle of pills out from the kitchen cupboard just so I can stare at it for an hour and wonder what if."
Yeah, that’s probably it.
There are many things in the world that are awesome. Flying cars are awesome. Hotel rooms that suck you into another dimension are awesome. Feminnem, the 2005 Bosnian Eurovision entrants, are awesome. Watching Britney Spears pretend to enjoy being single is absolutely not in any way awesome.
Since becoming single by splitting up with Kevin Federline, Britney Spears has embarked upon a number of exploits that have included dressing up badly with Paris Hilton, waving her bare vagina around for all to see, apologising for the vagina thing, celebrating the new year by collapsing in a heap, blasting jets of vomit into a boy’s hand and tattooing her hand. That might seem awesome to Britney Spears, but not to the NFL who called Britney a ‘train wreck’, or Mr Blackwell who doesn’t like how Britney dresses. But, hey, if Britney Spears thinks being single is awesome then who are we to argue? People reports:
When asked by PEOPLE in New York on Friday how she likes being single, the pop star, who filed for divorce from Kevin Federline on Nov. 7, said: "It’s awesome."
See? However, Britney’s claim that being single is awesome is slightly undermined by her infamous weeping interview with Matt Lauer from last June, where she claimed that living with Kevin Federline was awesome, mere months before she thumped out her second baby by him and threw him out of their marital home, so maybe Britney Spears isn’t the best judge here.
And, yes, we do know that this entire article is based around an off-hand, two-word quote probably shouted at distance to a journalist by a moron. What’s your point?
Read more:
Britney Spears: Being Single Is Awesome - People
Entry Filed under: IDOL
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