Britney Spears, Buddhist Nun
February 21, 2007
aerybritney
SPEARS shaved her head this week and that can only mean one thing: she’s joining a Buddhist monastery. Britney has long embarked on a spiritual quest, having dabbled with the Kabbalah and having flirted with Hinduism, but it appears she has chosen to follow the Eight-Fold Path. One only has to look at her ouvre to see references to the samsara cycle of repeating one’s mistakes (“Oops! I Did It Again”) or reincarnation (“Hit Me, Baby, One More Time”). Brit-Brit now understands that being a “Slave” to a “Toxic” lifestyle only leads to suffering. In shaving her head, she is clearly renouncing the materialist world and seeking enlightenment.
Britney will want to bone up on the Bhikkhuni Patimokkha, the basic code of discipline for Buddhist nuns, which contains 311 rules. In addition to the major taboos on killing people or animals, lying, having sex with people or animals, there are a number of prohibitions. Here are some the rules of conduct that Britney can expect during her spiritual rehab.
• Do not speak, sit or stand with a man alone in a dark or concealed place. Do not allow a man to touch you below the collarbone and above “the circle of the knees.”
• Do not bathe naked. When washing your lotus blossom, use no more than two fingers and only to the depth of two finger joints. No slapping of the genital area, not even with a lotus leaf. No shaving of the armpits and pelvic area. No completely bare wax jobs.
• Do not share the same bed, blanket or sleeping mat with another nun. No tickling with the fingers. Do not give or receive a massage from another nun, a novice or female servant. No lesbian romps with strippers.
• If you are not sick, you cannot use an umbrella or ride in a vehicle. Robes should be dyed green, brown, or black. No jewelry. No perfumes or scented sesame powder. No drinking fermented liquor. No honey, sugar, molasses, fish, meat, milk, curds. And certainly no Cheetos.
• Remain well-covered and well-restrained in inhabited areas and sit with your eyes lowered. Do not laugh out loud in inhabited areas or sit with robes hitched up. Absolutely no crotch-flashing.
Entry Filed under: IDOL
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